i WANT TO HELP,
by Triivu Kussul
Summary: GamTav Sadstuck!


I see you there, and I want to help. Your clubs are stained with blood that's not yours, and that honking laugh, echoing throughout the veil. I only sit, and watch, horrified. I'm right behind you, well in my eyes. I reach my cold hand out to touch your shoulder, calling your name, and begging for you to stop. To stop clubbing them, killing them, and tearing off their heads.

My voice doesn't reach you though, no matter how hard I try, it's not working. You can't hear my desperate cries, and you can't feel my touch, even though I'm right behind you. I want to help you so bad, to hug you, kiss you, and tell you everything is going to be alright, then he move's. He takes lanky body, and pushes it up up into a hunched standing position, then taking long strides over to my body. My, no longer life filled, dead body.

I watch what you do, thinking he must be doing respectful, and getting a small smile to crack across my lips. It doesn't last long though, once his hand lands on my limp neck, I become worried. My face filled with fear and confusion, as his mouth turns up in an insane crooked smile. Indigo blood running down from his chin and dripping onto my face, and I feel it.

I continue to sit and watch thought, keeping my invisible body still as I bite my lips nervously, and watching that other large hand of his attach to the top of my head. I choke as he grips it, finally raising my voice to say "don't do it!" I feel a hot tear run down my chilled cheeks then I let out another scream. "Please, I beg of you!" The stream of tears becomes harder, and I try to tear my dead white eyes away from the morbid scene, only to feel them glued, being forced to watch.

I feel his un-believably sharp claws dig deeper into my forehead, getting a better grip onto my head for the next coming movement I've seen so many times. That's when his muscles flexed, and he screamed, tearing my fragile head from your body at the neck. The sound of flesh rip apart, and bones splitting, the noises, when conjoined, sounding a symphony of horror.

Once again he insanely laughs, my head now in his hands, "hey mother fucker," he chuckles evilly. "NOW YOU'RE ALL MOTHERFUCKIN' MINE!"

I jolt as the words cut into me, shivers of fear running throughout my body, as I sit on the ground. Those familiar brown tears begin to well up in my eyes once again, wanting to kiss him out of that frightful state. Thoughts of how un-confident you are overwhelming the positive ones, and making you slink down a little further, keeping you put.

Your friend continues to darkly laugh; now standing up and making his way to the circle of passed away friends. All the severed heads that were lying there were put in correct blood color. The highest being the fuchsia blood, next violet, then the blue, and lastly a green. All of their eyes were rolled back into their heads, and each with a different expression from when they died, only one containing a smile, that being the blue blood.

Now one more in added to the collection, the lowest out of all of them. Mine. I'm set far away from the others, seeing why as soon as the deranged clown sits down in the circle of death. His seat was taken right in front of my head, and his indigo eyes looking straight at me, and filled with so much pain. A pain you've never seen before, but also that small amount of insanity still remaining.

I take my ghostly body and walk up to him, sitting next to his hunched over self as he continues to look at my bloodied head. That's when I notice a clear indigo tear roll, sadly, down his face, making me bend over to get a better look. His face is pulled into a frown, and his lip is quivering, I can't see his eyes though because his bangs have fallen into his face.

As I continue to study his currents state, I see a few more tears fall down his slender cheeks, and his teeth were now clenched as he continued to shake. "Why did you have to leave me," he growled quietly, his head hanging lower, and his folded hands tensing up. "WHY DIDN'T YOU MOTHERFUCKIN' LOVE ME BACK?"

As he screams out his pain, I lower my head in shame, feeling horrible for not returning his feelings of the red quadrant. I feel the tears return to my eyes as he continues to sob, and I take myself, and lean in front of him, moving forward to brush my lips against his. His lips feel soft, and chapped against mine, and even though I want him to feel mine so badly, I know he can't. I still continue to kiss him either way, still having some hope that he'll realize I'm here. I'm here right now, and I'm kissing him, because I love him so much. Of course, it doesn't work, and he continues to quietly sob, as I return to my former position.

I feel lonely and I wrap my arms around his thin waist, feeling those previous tears finally fall from my eyes, the warmness stinging my frozen cheeks. "Please," I murmur, as my head nuzzles his boney shoulder, "I know you can't hear me, but I do…I do love you."

Again, he doesn't here you, as to be expected, but he is now leaning down and re-picking up your head, examining your face carefully. Blood is dripping from my mouth still, and he examines it. He examines my brown eyes that are frightfully rolled back into my head. He examines the freckles that dust my dead grey cheeks like starts pepper the dark night sky. He just studies your head then ever so slowly does he bring his forehead to lean on mine, and I just continue to hug him and stare softly.

That's until that evil, crooked smile re-appears on his bloodied lips. I manage to keep my elf calm as he chuckles, and thank gog I did, because soon his warm lips press to my cold ones. I can feel it too, I can feel the gentle kiss on my own ghostly lips, and my eyes instinctively flutter shut. Once he pulls his head away I re-open my eyes, sad that he ended the kiss so soon, but glad it had happened.

"I motherfuckin' miss you," he murmurs, not even daring to wipe that peanut butter blood, that has stained his own lips, away. After those last words fell from his mouth, his head hung low once more. My head still rests in his Juggalo hands, and those wrists of his are resting on his knees, begging for my hand to touch them comfortingly.

I can't resist, and my hand shakily reaches out to fall onto his knee, while my head reaches over so I can place my lips next to one of his ears. "I miss you too," I whisper in return, my voice quiet and gentle, as my breath touches his ear, and surprisingly his eyes shoot open.

"Tav," he asks, his eyes dart around frantically, and searching for the voice he had just heard. Causing me to smile, happy that he had finally heard me, and I can't help but make my last words to him be "I love you, Gamzee." I use the same calming voice as I let them bravely come out of my mouth, then slowly fading away back to where I first came from when I had died.

"I-I love you too bro," I hear him choke out before I disappear from him completely, watching the tears come back to his eyes. A couple stray and fall down his cheeks, washing away the blood and face-paint in its path and lastly, into the lifeless head still resting in his hands, and I smile. A last smile that I will give him for a long time


End file.
